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Hey how’s it going?

I’m ok. I’m really sorry to interrupt right now. I know you must be super busy.

I’m just calling because I really need your help. I need you to come home right now. Is that possible?

Everything’s fine. There’s just a situation here and I really need your help and it can’t wait. Can you come home right now?

Ok. How long do you think it will take you to get here?

Oh my god. I seriously can’t thank you enough.

I really hope I didn’t ruin your night. If you’re with people please apologize for me. It’s just an emergency. Can you call me when you get here?

Ok. Thank you. See you in a few minutes.

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So, You're in the Crew: Here's What to Do

by Sara Dickhaus de Zárraga

You’re probably here because you received a text message from Flare that your friend added you to their Crew. Welcome!

Designed by survivors of assault, Flare is a smart bracelet that gives you an easy out of an iffy situation. Safety isn’t always black and white. In fact, 80% of assaults are committed by someone you know, not a stranger.  That’s why Flare was designed to give you low-key options to leave an uncomfortable situation earlier in the moment, as soon as you get that gut feeling so that you don’t have to stick around to see if the situation gets worse.  One of the things our tech-enabled bracelet does is allows users to reach out to their friends for a check-in or for help.  We call those friends your Crew. That’s you!

The first time you get a text message from Flare that your friend needs some backup, it can be a little surprising and kick your nerves into high gear.  But don’t overreact. Stay calm and remember that safety is a spectrum. Getting a message from your friend doesn’t necessarily mean they’re in an emergency.  It most likely means they’re getting bad vibes from someone they’re with and need an out from an iffy situation in case it gets worse.  But your friend still likely needs your speedy help. So call or text them as soon as you can.

Of all the people in the world, your friend picked *you* to be in their Crew. Huge congrats!  They picked you because they know that you’ll always be there for them if they need you. Wow - that’s a truly incredible thing.

I’m sure you’re wondering what you should do next to be a great Crew member.  Here are some pro tips to help you.

First, talk to your friend.

The first thing you should do is talk to your friend about why they’re using Flare and see how it works.  Everyone uses Flare for a different reason. Maybe they’re getting into dating apps for the first time and want to make sure they have some backup.  Maybe they get a little bit nervous during those late-night walks home from the library. Or maybe they just had one too many bad encounters at parties, but aren’t willing to sacrifice their social life (we feel you).  Understanding your friend’s needs and how they’re feeling is a great first step to being there for them when they need you.

Make a game plan for the real deal.

When it’s the real deal, here’s what will happen.  When your friend is in an iffy situation with someone and needs a little backup, they will press the button on their bracelet to send out a text message to their Crew.  As a member of your friend’s Crew, you’ll get a text message from Flare, which will include your friend’s phone number and location. It will be a group text message with the other members of your friend’s Crew, so you can reply to the text message to coordinate.

You should ask your friend what they would like for you to do when you get a message from Flare.  Do they prefer a call or text them first? What would they want you to say in your call or text? What other friends are in their Crew?  If you can’t get in touch with your friends, what would they want you to do? Everyone is a little bit different in terms of what they would want to happen in these situations and the best thing you can do is talk through it. Isn’t that what friends are for anyway?

When you get a message, stay cool.

When you call or text, don’t say “Oh my god. I just got your message from Flare. What’s wrong?  Are you ok? Who’s the creep?”

Remember, Flare is all about being subtle and helping your friend deescalate a weird situation before it gets worse.  Remember what your friend told you they would want you to say when you talked about Flare. Or try saying something like, “Hi.  Just calling to check-in. Still want to hang out tonight?” or “Do you have a sec to talk? I’m having a really terrible day.” It’s all about interrupting the bad moment that your friend is in and giving them an excuse to leave.  Use your creativity and remember to stay cool.

It’s ok if you miss a message, but follow-up.

Everyone’s busy and it’s totally normal to miss a message from your friend from time to time or to get a message at a moment when you can’t respond.  That’s why we let Flare users add multiple friends to their Crew to increase the chances that someone is available to help out at a moment’s notice.  

But as soon as you are available, you should respond to the rest of the Crew and make sure that someone was able to talk to your friend and make sure they got out of the iffy situation they were in.  You should also call or text your friend to make sure they are ok and follow-up to see if they need to talk.  

Talk to your friend about what they would like for you to do if you or the other members of their Crew are not able to get in touch with them.  They might want you to come to their dorm room, call their roommate or RA, check-in with their significant other or a family member, or call campus police.  Whatever their preference is, a good Crew member doesn’t leave a friend hanging.


Now you’re all set to be part of this movement of people taking care of one another.  Remember, it’s an incredible honor to be a part of your friends Crew. Use this moment as a chance to have a deep and honest conversation about personal safety with your friends.  And if you have any questions, Flare is here for you. Reach out to with any questions or just to show us how you #wearyourflare

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